I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
