Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
