I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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