Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
