mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
