I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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