and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you traded sex for a burrito?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
