You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize