Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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