The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
