dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am naked and annoyed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
