Michael Bay diarrhea
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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