Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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