I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
