Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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