I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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