help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
