I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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