xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
