I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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