I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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