so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
