I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize