I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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