Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
