That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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