So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
