we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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