took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize