Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize