plz talk dirty to me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
