Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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