Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
