New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
