is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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