you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
