the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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