She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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