That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
