I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
