Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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