I look better un-naked...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
