So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
