How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
