Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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