yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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