Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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