You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
