And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
