I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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