She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
