Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
