btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
