guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
