margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
