I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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