I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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