How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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