I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
