Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
