I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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