you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize