I feel like death gave me a hand job
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
