They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
